The Problem – Some People Just Irritate The Heck Out Of You – But It’s Really Their Temperament Traits That Drive You Crazy
Temperament traits?
Yep.
It’s not the person, per se.
It’s his or her Temperament and Temperament traits.
For example, here’s the real world. Here’s how it works:
If you’re a Yellow Phlegmatic, you’re indirect, reactive, slow paced, calm, quiet, people oriented, and introverted.
- You get irritated by the fast-paced, extroverted, showy, always talking Sanguines.
- You get irritated by the self-disciplined, organized, task-oriented Melancholies.
- The loud, fast, pushiness and practical results orientation of Cholerics drives you crazy.
If you’re a Blue Sanguine, you’re outgoing, spontaneous, fast-paced, fun loving, emotions oriented, expressive, and extroverted.
- You get irritated by the unemotional, slow, quiet, methodical Melacholies.
- Hard-charging, results-oriented, aggressive, pushy Cholerics drive you crazy.
- You want to pull your hair out over the slow pace, steadiness, and indecisiveness of Phlegmatics.
If you’re a Green Melancholy, you’re patient, slow-paced, introverted, precise, organized, fact and logic oriented, thoughtful, and analytical.
- You get irritated by the fast-paced, impatient, loud, results-oriented pressure of Cholerics.
- The unorganized, “I don’t care,” unplanned, people-oriented lifestyle of Phlegmatics ruffles your feathers.
- Sanguines irritate you because of their spontaneous and impulsive behaviors, short attention spans, emotional based actions and decisions, and lack of follow through.
If you’re a Red Choleric, you’re direct, impatient, “in charge,” intolerant, fast-paced, results-oriented, and extroverted.
- You get irritated by the indecisive, unmotivated, slow and easy lifestyle of Phlegmatics.
- Sanguines drive you crazy with their nothing but fun, casual, “life’s a party” attitude, gut-level decision-making, and their lack of a goal and results approach to life.
- The insufferable attention to the minutest details, perfectionism, slow pace, introversion, and analysis paralysis of Melancholies jangles your nerves.
(If you don’t know or are unsure of your Temperament / Personality, you can take our free Temperament / Personality Test and get a free Detailed Profile by Clicking Here.)
We’re All Different
As you can see, at our most fundamental levels, we’re all different.
Some of your natural traits and characteristics will endear you to some people. They’ll like you.
The same traits and characteristics will irritate other people. They won’t like you.
Think of one or two people that you know pretty well. For example, your spouse, significant other, your kids, parents, best friend, or boss at work. Or, anyone else you have a relationship with.
What are some of their behaviors, attitudes, and traits that drive you nuts?
Oh, yes…and which of your Temperament traits might put them over the edge? Make them want to punch you in the face?
It’s a two-way street.
It’s not that they want to drive you nuts.
It’s not that you want to drive them nuts.
These Are All Temperament Based Traits
Everything I’ve described above is about Temperament traits and characteristics. They’re not something you choose. They’re innate and hardwired into you – and everyone else.
You were Born Naked on the outside. All humans are.
Being Born Naked is one thing that every person has in common with all other people.
Regardless of the pigment of your skin, your gender, the color of your eyes, your height, weight, nationality, heritage, social and socio-economic status, or whether you live in a mansion or a cardboard box…you, like everyone else, was Born Naked.
Also, at birth, you were born complete on the inside. Everyone else was, too.
You were born with all 23 pairs of your chromosomes. You had all your genetic material. Your genetic code was intact. Your DNA was set in stone.
Combined, that’s called your Genome.
Your Temperament is part of your Genome.
It includes both your irritating and endearing traits and characteristics.
Therefore:
Yellow Phlegmatics can’t help being introverted, soft-spoken, slow, calm, people oriented, and indecisive.
Blue Sanguines can’t help wanting to be the life of the party, fun to be with, chatty, extroverted, spontaneous, creative, emotion-driven, and lacking in focus and follow through.
Green Melanchoies can’t help being perfectionistic, slow, methodical, introverted, logic and fact-oriented, and most comfortable when they have schedules and plans and feel organized.
Red Cholerics can’t help being extroverted, driven, results-oriented, aggressive, and wanting to be in charge of everything.
Those traits and characteristics are in their Genomes.
Yours are in your Genome.
They’re in every cell in your body.
They’re unchangeable.
You can’t change anyone else’s natural Temperament.
You can’t change your natural Temperament.
And, no one else can change yours, either.
No one is changing anyone’s Temperament traits.
Not the endearing ones.
Not the irritating ones.
The Solution
That leaves only one solution.
Learn your Temperament. All your own natural strengths, weaknesses, traits, and characteristics.
Also, learn the other Temperaments.
When you know yours and theirs – no matter who they are – you’ll understand them better.
Come to grips with the fact that there’s nothing personal if they happen to irritate you.
It’s because you don’t have a good Temperament match with them. That’s all.
That Temperament mismatch makes it hard for you to understand them. To accept them. To appreciate them for who they are.
When you learn to accept that, you’ll stop judging them.
After all, they can’t help being the way they are any more than you can help being the way you are.
It’s in your nature. It’s in your DNA. It’s part of your Temperament.
Ask yourself these questions:
- Do I really care? Do I really want or need to get along with this individual?
- If so, am I willing to find out more about them so I can make an honest effort to get along better? To learn how to give them what they need to turn our relationship from irritating to endearing?
- What will happen if I make the effort but they don’t respond? Can we still have a relationship? Will it end the relationship? Do I care?
- How much should I work on myself? Do I care – or how much do I care – about what I think of myself? About what others think of me?
Depending on your answers, if you want to, you can learn to accept anyone just as they are.
Some might still irritate and drive you crazy.
But, you’ll find it’s not as much as before.
You’ll be more understanding. You might even think of yourself as a bigger and better person.
In addition, you’re likely to discover that a lot of people you found irritating before are actually quite endearing in their own way.
With your new knowledge and perspective, you can change irritating people into endearing people by understanding them better. And, being willing to accept them as-is.
It’s your choice.
It’s in your control.
It’s up to you.