Here’s The Problem
Do you love yourself unconditionally? Wholly? Completely? Without reservation? All the time?
Probably not.
It’s why you may be insecure at times. Or lack confidence in certain circumstances.
It may even be one of the biggest reasons you often feel stressed without any specific, identifiable cause.
Underlying all that is negative self-judgment.
We all do it. You, too.
Why?
Beacuse, you’ve been trained to do it. Yes, trained.
The fact is that people are always judging you as you’re growing up. (And, forever after, too, for that matter.)
You think it’s normal.
Sadly, it is.
Even if you had awesome, enlightened parents. They’d give you tons of praise. Lots of healthy, encouraging feedback. Nothing but positive reinforcement.
However, as they were piling on the positive praise, they were judging you.
True, they were judging you as “good.” But, they were still judging you.
Even if they were lying or exaggerating because they wanted to be positive, they were still judging you.
At a subconscious level, you knew it.
You may not have had the language skills or experience to realize it. You couldn’t do anything about it.
But, you wanted to please them. So, you tried to be their version of “good” to earn their positive praise.
On Becoming A Harsh Self Judge
You learned what they liked and wanted so you could judge yourself as “good.”
Just the way you were being taught.
That way you could modify your behavior in advance.
For example, “…oh, I better not do that…mom might get mad…”
Or, it may have been after the fact. “…oh, geeez…I shouldn’t have done that…mom’s gonna be mad…”
You learned all this judging business from an early age.
You memorized it for yourself.
You became your self-judge.
Your personal judge of right or wrong and good or bad.
And, it only got worse.
As You Grow Up
As you’re growing up your circle of judges expands.
It’s no longer limited to your parents.
It’s your teachers, friends, and society as a whole.
“You got a D on your test. You have to take it again.” Or, “…if you keep getting D’s you’ll flunk math…”
These are judgments.
“I like it when you sit with me at lunch instead of that group of your old friends.”
This is a judgment. You’re judged as “good” if you sit with me. The judgment is “bad” if you sit with them.
Sometimes it’s in your face and blatant.
Sometimes it’s subtle – almost imperceptible.
You want to be a nice. A successful child. A good boyfriend, girlfriend, student, teammate, and everything else.
You judge yourself in advance. It keeps you on the “right” or “good” side of the scale.
However, you can’t be “right” or “good” all the time at everything.
You can never live up to everyone’s expectations, ideals, and notions of what’s “right,” “wrong,” “good,” or “bad.”
Including your own expectations.
You’ll make mistakes. Everyone does.
If someone else isn’t pointing those mistakes out to you, you’re pointing them out to yourself.
If they’re not judging you, you’re judging yourself.
This constant Circle of Judgment leads to insecurity, lack of confidence, and low self-esteem.
It’s hard to love yourself with all that going on.
The Solution
You only need to do one thing to stop the Circle Of Judgment, accept yourself as-is, and love yourself unconditionally.
Learn your Temperament inside and out.
Rediscover The Natural Authentic You.
Not only your natural strengths, traits, and characteristics (your “Blueprint for Life”).
Also, accept that your Temperament traits are your driving force. They propel you to behave the way you do. They explain why you behave the way you do.
If you don’t accept them as your fundamental, natural, unchangeable self, you’ll keep on judging.
You’ll continue wondering if you’re right or wrong – good or bad. You’ll keep feeling insecure, lacking confidence, and suffering from low self-esteem.
But, if you “get” your Temperament and accept it as your primary driving force, you’ll stop judging yourself. You’ll accept that you are what you are. It’s your nature. You can’t change your nature. Nor can anyone else.
You’ll ease into your most natural self. You’ll manifest and reflect your innate Temperament in everything you do.
You’ll stop questioning if you’re good enough or doing the right things.
You’ll stop worrying about living up to other people’s ideas, ideals, and expectations for you.
You’ll know, better than ever, who you are.
You’ll understand why you’re the way you are.
You’ll accept it. In your mind, heart, and soul, you’ll know it’s is the best version of you. It’s the most natural you.
Your confidence, self-esteem, and confidence will soar.
You’ll give yourself your best chance to reach your full potential in everything you do.
It happens automatically.
It doesn’t take any conscious effort.
You don’t have to try.
It happens because it’s natural for you.
When you are acting, reacting, and interacting in alignment, in sync, and in harmony with your most natural, genuine self – as reflected by your Temperament – you’ll find yourself becoming more relaxed.
Things will become easier for you.
You’ll catch yourself smiling at you just for being yourself.
And, you’ll naturally start to love yourself unconditionally, wholly, completely, and without reservation all the time.