On Children, Parenting, and Temperaments

Are you interested in Great Parenting?

Let’s say you have four children.

You’ve raised them in the same home. 

You’ve been consistent. 

You’ve treated them the same way.

And, you’re confused.

You’re pulling your hair out. 

None of them act or behave the same way.

Plus, none of them act or behave the way you want them to.

Sometimes you wonder who their “real” parents are.

You can’t figure out what makes them tick.

• One’s loud, impatient, boisterous, full of fun, mischievous, artistic, spontaneous, and a “people person.”
• Another’s quiet, patient, obedient, analytical, scheduled, organized, perfectionistic, and a “loner.”
• The third is strong-willed, active, controlling, always getting in trouble, and a bit of a “wild child.”
• The last one’s compliant, friendly, peaceful, never any trouble at all, and a “mild child.” 

How in the world, you wonder, did this happen?  

How, you ask yourself, am I supposed to parent them?

Parenting Is Confusing Because They’re So Different

In this article, you’ll learn why your children are so different.

1.  You’ll learn how to use the Power and Science of Temperaments™.

2.  You’ll discover how to understand yourself better.

3.  Plus you’ll see how to get along better with every member of your family.

• The fun-loving spontaneous one.  The People Person.
• And, the quite, analytical introvert.  The Loner.
• The strong-willed extrovert.  The Wild Child.
• The quiet, peaceful one.  The Mild Child.

4.  You’ll find out why they act the way they do.

5.  You’ll discover how you should respond.

6.  You’ll learn how to teach your children to become the best versions of themselves.

7.  You’ll find out there’s no sense worrying about how they behave. The better approach is to teach them that:

• Everyone is different.
• Everyone has a unique Temperament that’s part of their Life’s Blueprint.
• Everyone acts, reacts, and interacts in his or her own unique way.
• Why self-judgment and judging others is unhealthy, ineffective, and inappropriate.
• The best way to reach his or her full potential in life is to follow rather than fight their Temperament.

Temperaments Are Complete At Birth

Your children were born (or will be born) complete.

Their DNA, Genome, and Temperaments were intact.

They’re hardwired into every chromosome and cell in their bodies.

Their Temperament based Behavioral Styles are innate and unchangeable.  

It’s important that you encourage your children to understand their unique Temperaments.  To accept them.  To use them.

And, to teach them their unique, natural strengths, best traits, attributes, and positive characteristics.  And, also their unique, natural weakness and how to overcome and/or mitigate, and manage them.

Parenting and The Four 4 Core Dominant Termpeaments™ In Children

Here’s a quick list of some of the most important Temperament traits, characteristics, and behavioral styles.

Be alert for these.  Be observant.  You can identify your kids’ unique, individual Temperaments.

And, it doesn’t matter what age your children are.  Their innate, built-in strengths, traits, and characteristics remain the same.  They don’t change and you can’t change them.  

Temperaments are innate, hardwired, and unchangeable.  You’ll see these traits in newborns, infants, toddlers, young children, and teenagers.  

Plus, they continue right along throughout adulthood, too.

Yellow Phlegmatics

The Yellow Phlegmatics, from birth on, is the Practical Peacekeeper.  The Mild Child.

They’re Relationship Oriented.

Their Behavioral Style is Slow and Easy.

Their life’s motto is, “I Do Life The Easy Way.”

You’ll hear their parents say things like, “He/she’s a blessing. So contented. Adaptable.  Always happy.  Mild.  Not at all fussy.”

They’re on the introvert side of the spectrum

They’re more oriented to people (and later family and close friends) than tasks, facts, and analysis.

• They’re peaceful.
• You can put them anywhere and they’ll be happy.
• You can move them around and they’ll be happy.
• You can change their schedules and they’ll be happy.
• They’re adaptable and flexible.
• They like having people around and are good at making friends.
• They’re also content to be alone.
• They don’t make waves.
• They go with the flow.
• They don’t like to “get in trouble.”
• They’ll interact sometimes. Sometimes they’ll only observe.
• They often seem to be watching everything going on around them.
• You can take them with you anywhere, give them a book or game or favorite toy, and they’ll be happy. They’ll entertain themselves and won’t bother you at all.
• They seldom fuss.
• They fit in anywhere.
• When they’re old enough to talk, they’ll talk when appropriate or keep quiet according to the situation. They have a knack for knowing the difference.
• They’re easy and flexible.
• They’re regular in sleeping and eating habits.
• They’re adaptable, calm, and slow to become upset.
• They’re not adventurous. They don’t like taking risks. They’re cautious.

Blue Sanguines

The Blue Sanguines, from birth on, is the Energetic Enthusiast.  The People Person.

They’re Socially Oriented.

Their Behavioral Style is Fun and Flexible.

Their life’s motto is, “I Do Life The Fun Way.”

You’ll hear their parents say things like, “He/she never stops moving. He/she’s in perpetual motion. Always smiling, gurgling, making some sort of happy noise (talking when old enough). Loves to play with anything at hand. Seems to know how to make a game of everything. Moves fast. Cheerful. Inquisitive. Sparkling eyes.  Laughing eyes.”

They’re on the extrovert side of the spectrum

They’re more oriented to people (and later socializing) than things, tasks, and analysis.

• They love being the center of attention.
• They draw other kids (and adults) to them with their natural charisma.
• They love colorful objects and toys.
• They love objects and toys that move.
• They also move all the time. Wiggles. Squirms. Arms, legs, hands, and feet.
• They seem to never be still.
• They’re creative.
• They’re spontaneous.
• As babies, infants, and toddlers they’ll fuss, cry, and may throw a tantrum when they don’t get what they want.
• They love starring in school plays.
• They’re show-offs.
• They’re adventurous.
• They don’t mind change. You can take them with you most places or move them around. They’re flexible.
• They demand a lot of attention.
• They want to be the center of attention.
• They like having people and action around them.
• They don’t like being alone.
• They like to interact with people – adults and other children.
• They seem to thrive on chaos.
• They like loud noises, moving objects, and bright lights.

Green Melancholies

The Green Melancholy, from birth on, is the Accurate Analyzer.  The Loner.

They’re Task Oriented.

Their Behavioral Style is Disciplined and Patient.

Their life’s motto is, “I Do Life The Right Way.”

You’ll hear their parents say things like, “He/she is so good. Never makes a peep. Not overly active.  Goes down for naps right on schedule. Eats right on schedule. Goes to bed right on schedule. Likes to look at everything. Inquisitive, I guess.”

They’re on the introvert side of the spectrum

They’re more oriented to things than people, socializing, or emotional reactions.

• They’re quiet.
• They’re undemanding. 
• They’re self-sufficient.
• They’re content.
• They like to be alone.
• They respond well to schedules – right from birth.
• Sudden or loud noises can bother them.
• They’re uncomfortable when confused if you move them around very much.
• They don’t like having their routines (sleep, nap time, eating schedules, etc.) changed.
• They may not smile much.
• They appear serious most of the time.
• They don’t show much emotion.  
• They’ll stare, and even as newborns and infants, seem to be analyzing everything.
• They like toys and games that are puzzle-like – something to solve. Even as infants.
• In school, they’ll prefer research projects and term papers to objective tests.
• They like to work alone.
• They’re patient and will take as long as it takes to get things “right.”
• They love to discover a “better way” to do everything.

Red Cholerics

The Red Cholerics, from birth on, is the Powerful Producer.  The Wild Child.

They’re Results Oriented.

Their Behavioral Style is Fast and Furious.

Their life’s motto is, “I Do Life My Way.”

You’ll hear parents say things like, “What a handful! He/she is so demanding. Never satisfied. Has a tantrum whenever he/she doesn’t get his/her way. Always in motion. I give up. I don’t know what to do with him/her anymore. It’s easier to let him/her do whatever…”

They’re on the extrovert side of the spectrum

They’re more oriented to activities than to people, socializing, or emotional reactions.

• They’re natural-born leaders.
• They want to be in charge of everything.
• They can be pushy and bossy.
• They want things done the way they want them done. Now.
• They’re feisty.
• They’re determined.
• They’ll fight and argue for what they want.
• They’re controlling. They’ll take control of the whole family. It’s not a question of “if.” It’s only a question of “when.”
• They don’t fear authority or rules.
• They’re impatient.
• They’re loud.
• They can’t stay on a schedule.
• They’re compulsive.
• They do what they want to do when they want to it.
• They don’t need to have friends.
• They don’t seek approval from others.
• They thrive on controversy and conflict.
• They love a good argument.

Why Is Temperament Important?

Temperament is important because:

1. It helps you understand yourself better.
2. It helps you understand your children better, including their differences.
3. It answers why your kids behave, act, react, interact, think, and feel the way they do. That’s from a physical, mental, and emotional standpoint.
4. You can help them express their preferences, desires, and feelings in appropriate ways.
5. You can learn to stop judging or blaming yourself for your children’s behaviors. Their innate Behavioral Styles are 100% normal. They’re part of their nature, hardwired into every cell in their bodies, and unchangeable for life.
6. You can learn to predict issues and behaviors before they occur. This is important to avoid frustrating yourself and your children. Frustration arises when your parenting methods don’t match your child’s Temperament.

Putting It All Together To Improve Your Parenting Skills

It’s your responsibility to adapt your parenting style to their Temperament.  After all, you’re the adult.  You’re the parent.  

It’s your responsibility to learn to speak “their language.”

We’ll save exactly how to do that for another day.

For now, practice identifying your children’s Temperaments as well as your own. Watch how their general Behavioral Styles and specific behaviors match the above lists.

Also, become aware and in tune into how you respond to them.

See if you can start adapting your responses to their individualities.

They’re not the same. Parenting and treating them the same is doing them a disservice.  It’s unfair.  It won’t bring out their best.

See if you can adapt to become more in alignment and harmony with the way they perceive the world and their place in it.

Later, look for Part 2 of this series, On Children, Parenting, and Temperaments.    

In Part 2 you’ll get specific steps, tricks, and techniques for dealing with all four Temperaments. You’ll learn more loving and respectful ways to handle even the most difficult of them.

By the way, it’s really important that you have a complete understanding of your own unique Temperament.  So, if you haven’t taken our free Temperament / Personality Test, you should do that now. Click Here. Make sure to get your free Detailed Report, too.

You’ll need it for Part 2 where you’ll learn how to become the most effective parent possible for the People Person, the Loner, the Wild Child, and the Mild Child.