The Situation
Imagine that you have four job interviews today.
Any one of the four jobs would be your dream job. They’re perfect opportunities for you.
You’re excited. And, a bit nervous.
You’re motivated to look and do your best.
You’re ushered into the office of the President of the first company for your first interview.
The well-dressed President, stands up, looks you right in the eye, gives you a glimpse of a smile, and says:
“Wo méiy ou tài duō shíjiān zuò xiàlái gàosù wo, wèishéme yào gùyòng no.”
Your eyes roll.
What?
Your heart starts racing even more.
You’re stumped.
You have no idea what to do or say.
“I’m here for the job interview?” you finally mumble in the form of a question.
The President looks confused and says:
“Wo méiy ou tài duō shíjiān zuò xiàlái gàosù wo, wèishéme yào gùyòng no.”
Now, you’re crushed.
This isn’t going to work.
How on Earth, you’re thinking, can I have an important job interview when we don’t even speak the same language?
The Problem
You’re right.
You can’t have an important job interview with someone if you don’t speak the same language.
That’s obvious, right?
You can’t even have a casual, meaningless conversation about the weather with someone speaking a different language.
Believe it or not, everyone, including you, has this same problem every day.
But, in your everyday life, the situation isn’t as obvious as in the job interview metaphor with the Company President speaking Chinese.
The daily problem is so subtle, in fact, that you don’t even realize it.
You don’t know what you don’t know.
Therefore, you’re likely to be miscommunicating much of the time.
Each of the four Temperaments speaks a different language.
It doesn’t seem like it at first.
After all, they’re at least speaking English.
But, as you get to know the Temperaments, you’ll see the differences.
You’ll hear them.
You’ll spot them immediately.
Here’s What’s Coming
In this article you’ll:
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Get an overview of all four Temperamental Languages.
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Discover how to speak them like a pro.
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Learn how to adapt your communication style as appropriate.
The bottom line is that the 4 Essentials To Skyrocket Your Communication Skills are to “get” the differences between these 4 Temperamental Languages.
Why?
So you can learn to speak all 4 of them fluently.
So you can adapt to other people’s communication styles and preferences.
It’s easy and here’s how to do it.
Temperaments and Temperamental Languages™
Here are a few of the benefits of learning the Temperaments and the Temperamental Languages:
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You’ll understand more about yourself than ever before;
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You’ll communicate with all types of people better than in the past; and,
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You’ll improve your performance, achievements, and accomplishments in all areas of your life in ways that you may never have known existed or thought possible.
Temperament Type Overview
Here’s a quick overview of the Colors and Greek names of the four Temperaments:
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The Yellow Phlegmatics are caring, outer directed, nurturing by nature, and relationship oriented.
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The Blue Sanguines are fun loving, outgoing, creative, entertaining by nature, and socially oriented.
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Green Melancholics are detail driven, accurate, orderly, analytical by nature, and task oriented.
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Red Cholerics love power and status, get things done quickly, are leaders and controlling by nature, and results oriented.
The Four Temperaments & Their Individual Temperamental Languages
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Yellow Phlegmatics speak a slow, casual, warm, and friendly language that seeks human connection.
o Talk to them about their personal involvement.
o Show them appreciation for their amazing, selfless interest in other people.
o They also need reassurance that you like them and support them and their feelings.
o They’re “Practical Peacekeepers.”
o Their Temperamental Language is “Slow & Easy.”
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Blue Sanguines speak a fast-paced language filled with flair and excitement. “Fun” and “Entertainment” are popular words in their vocabulary.
o Be a good audience.
o Let them entertain you. They love to.
o Also, show your support for their creative and intuitive ideas and dreams. Compliment those things.
o They’re “Energetic Enthusiasts.”
o Their Temperamental Language is “Fun & Flexible.”
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Green Melancholics speak a formal, accurate, and precise language. They enunciate correctly…perhaps perfectly.
o They respond to language filled with step-by-step, orderly, fact-filled logic.
o They may not respond quickly because they “want to think about it.”
o There is no end to details in their vocabulary.
o They’re “Accurate Analyzers.”
o Their Temperamental Language is “Disciplined & Patient.”
- Red Cholerics have a speedy, concise language with a results oriented vocabulary. There is plenty of conviction and direct confrontation in their words and tone.
o They will understand you best if you speak directly, concisely, and professionally.
o By all means, know what you’re talking about.
o Don’t waste words, be organized, use bullet points, and get to the point.
o They’re “Powerful Producers.”
o Their Temperamental Language is “Fast & Furious.”
Four Examples
How’s this work in real life? Let’s see.
Imagine again those four important job interviews today.
# 1 – Temperament Type: Red Choleric
When you walk in the President’s office he doesn’t say:
“Wo méiy ou tài duō shíjiān zuò xiàlái gàosù wo, wèishéme yào gùyòng no.”
This time he says it in English rather than Chinese:
“I don’t have much time. Sit and quickly tell me why I should hire you.”
As you walk in you see several plaques and achievement awards hanging in the office.
You notice that her desk is busy – not cluttered – but busy.
She’s dressed in smart business attire that looks expensive and well-tailored.
Her gestures are short and quick.
Her tone is strong and direct.
Her eye contact matches her tone – strong and direct.
These are all hints that you can assimilate in a few seconds. And, they tell you, along with her words and tone, that you’re dealing with a Red Choleric.
What do you do?
You respond in Red Choleric. That’s her language.
The best way you can show her respect is to speak with her in her language.
“First,” you say, “I have direct, hands-on experience in every aspect of the business that you listed in the recruitment ad.
“Second, I’m a 100% dedicated and loyal employee. I’ll come in early, stay late, and do whatever it takes to get projects done ahead of time and under budget.
“Third, I’m excellent at juggling loads of things at once. It looks like you’re a busy woman and there’s nothing I love more than being busy.
“I could go on and on…would you like me to or not? I don’t want to waste your time.”
You’ve responded with short answers, bullet pointed, direct, honest, and straight to the point.
That’s her language.
You get that job. You’re hired on the spot.
Sometimes when I’m teaching this, I’ll have clients say, “Are you saying I should be manipulative?”
Absolutely not. Never. I’ll repeat that. Never
You’re being respectful.
Being flexible and able to adapt to someone else’s communication preferences is a sign of respect.
It would be like learning to speak Chinese if you were going to an interview with a Company President that only speaks Chinese.
It’s the opposite of manipulative.
It’s smart, for sure. It’s also kind, generous, and respectful.
It will also be of great value for both of you.
You’ll have clear communication. Fewer misunderstandings. Much more mutual benefit. Much more mutual respect. Much less judgment.
# 2 – Temperament Type: Yellow Phlegmatic
When you walk in this President’s office you don’t see plaques and achievement awards.
You see family pictures.
This President’s desk doesn’t look busy.
It looks a little messy. Even cluttered. But not busy.
The President’s wearing loose fitting pants and a casual shirt that looks a little big for him. It’s also a bit wrinkled.
He stands up. He saunters over to greet you with a soft, warm, two-handed hand shake.
He doesn’t go back and sit behind his desk. Rather, he suggests you both sit down in the casual chairs in front of the desk.
“Did you have any trouble finding the office,” he asks? His voice is soft. His speech slow.
He makes eye contact, but doesn’t hold it. It’s in and out.
“No. No trouble finding your office at all,” you say.
You already know you’re dealing with a Yellow Phlegmatic.
So, you make sure to slow down and soften your speech pattern. Speak to him in his language, Yellow Phlegmatic.
“Oh, good,” he says. “One of my daughters is horrible at directions and maps. Do you have any children?”
And so, the Phlegmatic conversation begins.
You end up chatting about your families for fifteen minutes.
You exchange stories and experiences. You have lots in common.
Eventually, you get to the job and the interview.
He doesn’t ask you much. You can tell he likes you. You can also see that he isn’t comfortable about putting you through the normal job interview third degree.
You get that job.
You’re not hired on the spot. Yellow Phlegmatics don’t make quick decisions. It takes a couple of days.
Your advantage? You spoke his language. That put him at ease. It created a bond. He liked you. You didn’t threaten him. He “felt good” about you.
Those impressions were more important than your qualifications for and details about the job.
# 3 – Temperament Type: Green Melancholy
This office is clean, tidy, and your first thought is “efficient.”
The desk is neat and orderly.
There isn’t much at all hanging on the walls – a couple of pieces of tasteful looking art is all.
The woman behind the desk stands up. She doesn’t come around the desk to great you. She holds out her hand. You get a quick, formal hand shake.
“Have a seat,” she says.
As you’re sitting down, she opens the top folder on her desk and looks at it. Without looking up, she says, “I’ve reviewed your resume in detail and made some notes. I have a few questions.”
Her voice is straight forward. Concise. To the point.
She’s rather monotone. She’s so still it’s hard to tell if she’s moving at all.
“First,” she goes on, “you didn’t mention here why you left that job with Ajax back in August of 1995. Exactly what happened there?”
And so your Melancholy conversation began.
She wanted to know every detail about your employment history, background, and qualifications. Every detail.
She took notes non-stop as you were answering her questions.
There was no eye contact. The note taking prevented it.
Most people would feel uncomfortable. Like they were in the Inquisition.
Luckily though, you knew the Temperaments.
You knew you were dealing with a Green Melancholy.
When you first met, you immediately switched into speaking Green Melancholy with her.
You adjusted your expectations about how the interview might go. You predicted how it was going to go. You were prepared. You were right.
You didn’t take her barrage of questions personally. You understood that she, as a Green Melancholy, has to have all the details. It’s in her DNA. It’s part of her innate Melancholic Temperament Type. She literally can’t help it.
For her, all the details have to be in line, make sense, be logical, and paint a complete picture. Otherwise, she’s uncomfortable. Otherwise, she won’t make a decision at all.
You got points with her because of your ability to understand her. You didn’t become impatient, annoyed, nor frustrated by her endless questions. You were straight forward in your answers and didn’t try to make small talk or “become friends.” Just the facts.
You were able to easily and effectively communicate with her in her language.
You got the job.
As with the Yellow Phlegmatic President, your hiring wasn’t immediate.
In fact, it took quite a while.
As a Green Melancholy, she was compelled to review all the resumes she’d received.
She also had to interview all candidates with the minimum basic qualifications.
Melancholics never make decisions without all the facts.
They’re uncomfortable unless they’ve explored all possible alternatives.
They analyze all the details.
No stone unturned.
# 4 – Temperament Type: Blue Sanguine
When you walk into this President’s office, he jumps out of his desk chair and rushes up to meet you.
He’s got a huge smile on his face.
He grabs your hand and gives you a warm, engaging, active hand shake. Like you’re a long lost best friend.
He starts talking immediately.
“Hey,” he says. “I’m so glad to meet you. I only had time to skim over your resume, but I felt good about what I saw.”
You notice that the desk is a mess.
There are pictures all over the walls.
Lots of family pictures. There nights out on the town with friends. You see several vacation shots. There’s a skydiving photo. You recognize one at a Cirque du Soleil performance.
They’re filled with action and what looks like fun times.
You know you’ve got yourself a Blue Sanguine.
You know that to have the best interview for both of your sakes, you’ll be speaking Blue Sanguine for a while.
Luckily you’re fluent in it as well as the other three Temperamental Languages.
As he ushers you to a chair you notice that he’s wearing stylish but casual pants and a shirt. Both are fashionable, fit well, and make up a bright, conspicuous, and eye-catching color combination.
He hasn’t stopped talking yet. He’s hands and arms – his whole body, it seems – are moving as fast as his mouth. He’s perpetual motion.
He tells you about how the trash bag broke that morning while he was taking it out to the big trash bin. And how all sorts of icky stuff got all over his pants, shoes, and socks.
“So,” he said, “I had to change everything from the waist down. Luckily, nothing got on the shirt. By the way, how do you like this shirt? Pretty awesome, huh? You won’t believe where I got it.”
“Oh,” you say. “I’ll believe anything these days. I was walking by an old thrift store last month. Something in the window caught my eye. I never go in those places. But that day I did. On impulse. I ended up buying five new – well, new to me – outfits for major bargains. Best day of the month. I’m glad none of my friends saw me. I get nothing but compliments on that stuff. And, listen to this. Everyone wants to know where I got it!”
You laugh.
He does, too.
You’ve got a connection.
He finally gets around to asking about your experience and qualifications. It’s obvious, though, that he’d rather continue telling stories and chatting.
“I don’t want to read your whole resume and don’t want all the details,” he says. “Give me the overview…the big picture.”
You do. He interrupts a couple of times to tell you funny stories that relate to what you’re talking about. And, you throw in a couple of personal stories about yourself, too.
And, you get that job.
Immediately. On the spot.
“Gut level,” he says. “Instinct. I like you and you’re going to be a welcome addition to the company.”
Conclusion
It’s vitally important to know what the four Temperamental Languages are.
It behooves you to practice communicating in each one as often as possible.
It can be critical to your success. For example, it might come in handy for an important job interview some day.
Or, it might be any other encounter you have in your day-to-day life. Dealing with a clerk in a store. Trying to resolve something with a customer service person. Just chatting with a neighbor, family members, or friends.
It might be at work. It’s always important at home.
Give everyone you meet the respect they deserve. Talk to them in their language.
- Red Cholerics speak fast, direct, no frills, bottom line oriented. They want you to talk to them at a fast pace. Don’t waste their time. Get to the point. Don’t bore them with too many details.
- Yellow Phlegmatics speak soft and slow. They like to get comfortable and talk about family and friends. They hate it if you try to rush them. Don’t confuse them with too many facts or details. Be soft and sweet. Be non-confrontational. Let them set the pace.
- Green Melancholics are detail oriented, thoughtful, and analytical. They want you to use facts and logic. They’re patient and slow paced. They won’t act on anything until they have all the facts. And, after they have the facts, they’ll need more time to analyze those facts. They don’t do things “by gut instinct.”
- Blue Sanguines are fun loving, spontaneous, and have a social and emotional bias. They want you to show appreciation for their place as the center of attention. Use terms related to fun, adventure, and excitement. Use emotionally charged language. Talk fast and use plenty of gestures. You’ll lose them with lots of details. Laugh often. Smile all the time.
Understanding and using the four Temperament Languages effectively:
- Gives you feelings of power and self-confidence.
- Allows you to deal effectively with anyone.
- Gives you an advantage in establishing healthy, mutually beneficial relationships.
- Might get you’re your dream job or dream career.
Use your Temperamental Language skills with respect for whomever you’re dealing with. It’s the opposite of manipulation.
Rather, it’s an effort to be the best communicator you can possibly be by speaking with them in their language.
Everyone speaks either Choleric, Phlegmatic, Melancholy, or Sanguine.
Learn those four languages. Practice them. Become an expert at them.
You’ll be well on your way to reaching your peak potential – even if you can’t speak Chinese.