Ditch Your False Self –
Be Your Authentic Self Now!
March 5, 2021
Any Of These Sound Like You?
Do you ever find yourself saying things like this to yourself or out loud? Pay attention. Things like this have important meaning for you:
“I’m not myself today.”
“Why do I keep doing stupid things like that?”
“Why am I always late? I wish I was organized and on time like Sharon.”
“I envy Charlotte. She gets along so easily with people. She can talk to anyone. It’s frustrating that I’m so darned intimidated and shy!”
“I want to be more like Dave. He’s energetic, on the go, and gets so much done.”
“Why am I so fidgety?”
“I wonder why I’m not calm and even-keeled like Lizzy?”
If any of these sound like you, don’t worry. You’re not alone. Almost everyone has thoughts and feelings like these from time-to-time.
Good news! There’s an easy fix. Fix them once and they’ll never reappear.
Out Of Alignment – Out Of Harmony
These sorts of thoughts and feelings mean something.
They mean you’re not in alignment and harmony with your Authentic Self.
They’re whispers from your unconscious. They’re saying there’s a conflict between your “False Self” and your “Authentic Self.”
What/Who Is This False Self?
Your False Self is an identity, or version of yourself, that you’ve inadvertently assumed. It’s you. But it’s you disguised in a False Self costume and mask.
You started accepting your false identity almost from the moment you were born. You put on your costume. You’ve worn it ever since.
You Were Once Your Authentic Self…On The Day You Were Born
When you were born, you were your Authentic Self. Right?
When could you have been more authentic?
You were uninfluenced and unaffected by input from the outside world. You were exactly as your genetics and nature intended you to be. Pure. Pristine. Authentic.
Your False Self-identity was then lovingly superimposed on you. You were subjected to thorough overt and covert influences and training. Think of it as “domestication.” (“Domestication” is borrowed from Don Miguel Ruiz’s iconic work, “The 4 Agreements.”)
Your parents, caregivers, family, friends, religion, and society superimposed it on you. And shackled you to it with a system of rewards and punishments. It’s the same way we domesticate family pets.
It wasn’t an evil plot. Just misguided care and concern.
They believed it was important for your life, well-being, and success. They “knew” you needed to be the way they believed you needed to be. They wanted you to be a more successful version of them.
Here’s the problem. Their way was unlikely to be in alignment and harmony with your Authentic Self.
And, you had no input. No argument. No defense.
As a newborn, infant, toddler, and child, you didn’t know the difference between your False Self and Authentic Self. You didn’t know the difference between rewards and punishments. Between right and wrong. Good and bad. True and false.
As a human, however, you did have an innate survival instinct. You, naturally, chose the reward path. And avoided the punishment path.
With repetition and practice, you gained the skills required to be exactly like they wanted you to be. Exactly how you’d earn the most rewards and avoid the most punishments.
You snuggled into the costume. You adopted your False Self. You believed it was the real you. You were domesticated.
Your False Self In the Here and Now
Living your False Self became your normal. It’s still your norm. It’s your habit. It gives you a sense of security. It stokes your survival instinct. It’s kept you safe so far.
Even positive, healthy, personal growth is risky to your False Self. It involves an element of the unknown. The unknown is risk. Risk is scary. It can be dangerous.
Remember the cautionary whispers coming from your Authentic Self? They’re reminding you that your Authentic Self is still there. As it was at your birth.
It’s hidden underneath the outside world’s domestication, influence, rewards, and punishments.
It’s still right there in your DNA.
Those whispers from your Authentic Self are quietly urging you to recognize, embrace, and stop fighting with it. To make your Authentic Self your ally instead of your enemy. To align and harmonize your life with it.
Sadly, most of the time, you ignore or silence the whispers. Most everyone does.
We stuff them back down into our unconscious minds.
That’s your False Self judiciously, rigidly, and aggressively guarding itself. Protecting and prolonging its identity.
After all, it got you where you are today.
Hopefully, that’s a healthy, happy, and safe place.
Sadly, even if you’re “great,” you’re probably not as healthy, happy, and safe as you could easily be.
Changing from False Self to Authentic Self can be transformative.
How Do You Flip The Script? How Do You Become Your Authentic Self?
There’s an ad on Facebook I keep seeing: “A Year of Writing to Uncover the Authentic Self” it promises.
I stopped reading right there.
What? A Year? Really? Yikes!
If I thought I needed to uncover “the Authentic Self,” I’d definitely want to do it right now. Or at least some time today. Or soon.
Absolutely not have to wait a year.
I’m an Expert in Temperament Based Individuality and Human Behaviorism. From experience I know it’s not difficult to get people to commit to doing something for a year.
But, it’s nearly impossible for them to actually do whatever it is they commit to for a whole year.
Think of New Year’s Resolutions. Failed diets. Promises to read more. Watch less TV. Abandoned exercise programs and routines.
Truth: Your Authentic Self Is Really Your Temperament
You can uncover your Authentic Self, get in harmony and alignment with it, and start living it in mere minutes. Not a year or years.
Fundamentally, you are your Temperament. Your Temperament is your Authentic Self.
Your Temperament is that pure, pristine, authentic newborn you were at birth. It’s how you were genetically hardwired. It’s the expression of the hardwiring that’s embedded and encoded in your DNA. That’s your Temperament. That’s your Authentic Self.
It’s important because your Temperament is the most powerful driving force in your life. It’s in every cell in your body.
It controls, impacts, or influences every attribute, action, interaction, thought, feeling, and emotion in your life. It’s all-pervasive.
If you don’t understand and use it for your benefit, then you’re fighting against yourself. You’re handicapping yourself. You’re creating inner conflict. You’re, inducing stress. You’re causing unnecessary uncertainty.
If you know your Temperament, you automatically know your Authentic Self.
A Few Choices To Consider
Here’s a little Authentic Self food for thought:
- Would you rather spend a few years and thousands of dollars in talk therapy or mere minutes of Free Fun to uncover your Authentic Self?
- Would you rather spend decades and possibly hundreds of thousands of dollars in psychoanalysis or mere minutes of Free Fun uncovering your Authentic Self?
- Would you rather spend 30, 40, 60, 75 years (you pick the number) in brutal, day-to-day trial and error or mere minutes of Free Fun uncovering your Authentic Self?
The choices are yours.
Please Don’t Believe Me
I DO NOT want you to believe me on this. If you do, I know from experience you’ll say, “Wow! That’s awesome.” And that will be it. You won’t do anything.
I’ve been successfully teaching, helping, coaching, supporting, and working with people, couples, small groups, businesses, and organizations internationally based on the Science and Power of Temperaments for four decades.
I know most people are either unknowledgeable or skeptical about Temperaments. Including their own.
They’ve never heard of Temperaments. Or, they’re misinformed about Temperaments. They confuse Temperaments with personalities. They’re not the same thing.
Plus, you’re probably thinking this sounds too good to be true. Right? Start living your Authentic Self in mere minutes? When others are telling you it’s a big struggle. When they say it takes “52 Weeks.” Or an expensive “Package of Sessions.” Or a $10,000-weekend retreat in the forest or desert or somewhere “exotic.”
I know all this. I’ve heard it. I’ve seen it.
That’s why I heartily recommend you don’t believe me. Be a World-Class Skeptic. DO NOT, under any circumstances, trust what I’m saying here.
Only trust yourself.
But, what if it really is true. And as simple, easy, and life-altering as I’m suggesting.
Don’t you owe it to yourself to at least look into it? Consider it? Try it on for size?
Then you’ll know. One way or the other. You will know.
Trust yourself.
It’s painless.
It’s effortless.
It’s free.
How To “Uncover” and Live Your Authentic Self – Step-By-Step
Here’s my suggestion. This is by far better than any other method of finding your Authentic Self.
- Go here and take the free, one-minute, Temperament Test.
- Fill out the form at the bottom of the Test with your first name and email address. That’s so we can email you a link to your detailed, free Temperament Type Assessment/Profile.
- Read your Profile. It will only take 5-10 minutes (depending on your reading speed). During those few minutes, you’ll learn everything critical and important about the main attributes, traits, and characteristics that are hardwired into your DNA. The ones expressed as your Temperament and Authentic Self.
- Start putting what you’ve learned into practice. Practice doesn’t mean work. It’s not like practicing gymnastics, football, or your times tables. It’s just an awareness of your innate attributes. A few of those attributes include your pace, priorities, preferences, natural behavioral style, natural learning style, natural communication style, strengths, weakness, natural likes, dislikes, and others.
How Do You Do It?
The BIG QUESTION is always how? How do you get in alignment and harmony with your Authentic Self in your real life? In the real world?
Each of the four Temperament Types will have some specifics to deal with. We’ll get into those in a second.
But, first, there are three BIG THINGS you need to apply. And, by the way, these same three big things are necessary to make any sort of change or improvement in your life. Losing weight. Working out more. Improving relationships. Better parenting. Work advancement. Any form of self-realization and self-improvement. Sing better. Learn a foreign language. You name it. Everything.
The critical things are:
AWARENESS
INTENTIONS
EXPECTATIONS
Awareness
There are four stages to Awareness.
|
Stage 1: |
Unconscious |
Out of alignment & harmony with Authentic Self |
|
Stage 2: |
Conscious |
Out of alignment & harmony with Authentic Self |
|
Stage 3: |
Conscious |
In alignment & harmony with Authentic Self |
|
Stage 4: |
Unconscious |
In alignment & harmony with Authentic Self |
Stage 1. “You don’t know what you don’t know.” It began when they first started domesticating you. It continued until you got your Personalized Temperament Profile.
When it comes to connecting with your Authentic Self, my guess is that well over 90% of all adults have no clue. They’re perpetually in Stage 1. They think they’re fine. And, in many ways they are.
But can you live your ultimate joy and your best life when you’re in unconscious conflict with your hardwired, Nature and Authentic Self? Nope.
Stage 2. This is your current here and now. The moment you finished taking our Temperament Test and saw your Personalized Temperament Profile, you became conscious of your Authentic Self. Perhaps for the first time.
Have you ever felt anxiety or disharmony about aspects of your behaviors, thoughts, feelings, beliefs, or emotions, in the past? The root cause was likely misalignment with your Authentic Self. Too much domestication.
Stage 3. Stage 3 starts right now. You’re going to consciously make choices to incorporate your Natural traits and characteristics into your daily life.
You’ll forget sometimes and experience stress or anxiety. It’s just a matter, then, of consciously reminding yourself to choose to accept, trust, and use your Natural traits and characteristics as much as possible.
Stage 4. Nirvana. After a few days or weeks, you’ll be unconsciously living your Authentic Self without a second thought. You’ll be on autopilot. In states of Authentic Self flow and the zone.
With little or no inner conflict, you’ll experience reduced stress. More energy and clarity. More fun. More success in everything you do. You’ll find that more and more good things happen to you. And you’ll bump into more and more things that light you up.
Intentions
Your intentions are nothing more than ideas. Thoughts.
They’re different from the millions of normal thoughts that race through your head.
Intentions are things you want to turn into reality.
You need clear intentions to proactively control your life. They are the drivers that make things happen.
All you have to do is make sure your intentions are to live in alignment and harmony with your Natural traits and characteristics, your unique Temperament, and your Authentic Self. This is a choice that only you can make for yourself.
(If you need help crafting clear intentions, you can join or Free, Private Facebook Community and get safe and secure help, guidance and support there. Click Here – Private Facebook Community Or, contact me directly at Dexter@PowerOfTemperaments.com.)
Expectations
You could make an argument that expectations are the bane of all human existence.
Yours about yourself. Yours about society and the world. Yours about other people. And theirs about you.
If you’re not living your Authentic Self, you’re guaranteed to have false expectations about yourself. You’ve been domesticated to live as your False Self. It is, by definition, always in conflict with your Authentic Self.
When your Authentic Self whispers to you that it’s still there waiting for you to synch up with it, you’ll experience the anxiety of false expectations. When you’re behaving in a way that is in conflict with your Authentic Self, you’re flirting with harsh self-judgment rooted in your false expectations.
We do the same sort of thing with society and other people. We expect them to be the way we want them to be.
And then, when they aren’t, we’re disappointed. We’re frustrated. We’re even angry.
False expectations. The bane of human existence.
And, it goes both ways.
Individuality – Some Quick Tips by Temperament Type
Yellow Phlegmatic
Changes are generally difficult and stressful for you. As with most things, take this in baby steps. And, slow and easy.
Look at the traits and characteristics that are in your Temperament Profile. Pick one to start with.
Focus on it.
See if you can imagine, visualize, picture, or think about some common, everyday situations where you could start incorporating that trait into your life.
Be aware of it as much as you can. Consciously incorporate it into your daily routine as often as is comfortable for you.
Be kind and gentle with yourself. There’s no rush. There is no right or wrong. No two people do this exactly the same way.
When you feel like you’ve got that one trait in alignment in harmony, then pick another one. Or maybe another two this time. Go slow. Repeat the process.
If you’re already using meditation, affirmations, mantras, self-hypnosis, or any similar similar practices in your life, incorporate this process into those modalities.
Blue Sanguines
You’re impatient. You love instant gratification. You’re big picture oriented.
Look at your list of traits and characteristics. Read through the list multiple times on a daily basis for a while.
Some of those traits and characteristics will resonate with you quickly and easily. Others not as vividly or strongly.
Choose a few of those traits and characteristics. Choose to make them a part of your conscious awareness. Think about them. Picture and visualize them. Repeat them out loud or in your mind frequently during the day.
Better yet, get a friend or group of friends to take our Temperament Test. Go through this process with them. You all can talk about it amongst yourselves. Blue Sanguines love people and will always accomplish more faster when other people like-minded people are involved. And, it doesn’t matter what the other peoples’ Temperament Types are. It’s the process that counts.
Green Melancholics
As a natural, DNA-based, logical, rational person, you already know how to pull off alignment and harmony with your Authentic Self.
Use a bit of your world-class willpower. It will probably do the trick for you.
You’ll see the logic of it. You’ll be awed by the accuracy of the Power of Temperaments Test and your Profile. You’ll trust them.
Focus on the main traits and characteristics that you want to incorporate into your life first. You’ll find yourself in alignment in harmony with your Authentic Self mostly on autopilot. It will happen very quickly for you. Perhaps instantaneously.
Red Cholerics
One of the traits you’ll see when you look at your Profile is “impatience.” It’s categorized under the “Weaknesses” category.
Please recall from your Profile where it says every “strength” can be a “weakness” if it’s overdone or misapplied. And, every “weakness” can be a “strength” if mitigated and managed correctly.
Like the Green Melancholies, you will know how to get into alignment and harmony with your Authentic Self because of your logic, fact, and task orientation.
Your major stumbling block will be that if it doesn’t happen fast (by your speed standards), your impatience may drive you to discontinue the effort before you give it a fair chance.
Be aware. Don’t let that happen. You’ll kick yourself if you do.
The Bottom Line
All you need to align and harmonize with your Temperament/Authentic Self is awareness, clear intentions, and maintaining realistic expectations. Each of those is a choice you get to make.
Use your Temperament Profile to become aware of all your natural traits and characteristics. Keep reviewing them. Keep them in your awareness. Intend to live them without false expectations.
Establish and maintain the intent to align your feelings, thoughts, actions, and interactions with those traits and characteristics.
Become, be, and live consciously aware of leaving your False Self in your rearview mirror.
Embrace, love, and cling to your Authentic Self. You deserve it.